I spend much time to go through and reorganise my thoughts over and over again before I finally get the shit out of my head. The most frequent question I constantly ask myself is whether what I write will become one of my fatal points somewhere in the future. Would people use my words against me? Would they have twisted the meanings of my words and frame me for something unimaginable? Forgive me for being such a paranoid, but I did grow up in various constrictions upon my words and actions, so if you could relate, you'd understand. However, never did I expect understanding from anyone. It is always harder to relate to one's emotions without having to stand in his shoes. The worse thing is when people not only misunderstand you, but opt to frame you as the "bad guy".
It is of course a wise thing to accept criticism, but just because you complain and comment on others's actions, it doesn't make you a critic or look more intelligent than others. Most of the time those who comment speak harshly, without logic reasoning nor "common sense". Well if this is too polite, let's just say these people are foolish enough to bullshit around with their brainless thoughts and being loud and noisy as well. They claim themselves as "righteous" and condemn others' actions as if they represent the only justice in the world.
Therefore I become afraid. Because it is pointless to fight with fools. But to constraint my voice because of the fools out there is unfair. Why shouldn't my voice be heard since it is more righteous that what "they" claim as righteous? If my voice deserved to be diminished because the fools are majority, then is this justice?
Hence my dilemma has resulted in me being hesitant to write anything. I was stuck in the routine of turning on my blog and write and click delete. It is of contradiction when we are advancing with technology, but our views are becoming more and more constricted. People are becoming more sensitive and fragile and defensive, and prompt to attack without reasoning.
Once my lecturer told me to write for the sake of writing, and not to be influenced by any other circumstances. Yet is it SAFE to write in the "freedom" of Malaysian context? That's something serious for us to ponder upon.
For now, let's assume I'm a coward.
Hence my dilemma has resulted in me being hesitant to write anything. I was stuck in the routine of turning on my blog and write and click delete. It is of contradiction when we are advancing with technology, but our views are becoming more and more constricted. People are becoming more sensitive and fragile and defensive, and prompt to attack without reasoning.
Once my lecturer told me to write for the sake of writing, and not to be influenced by any other circumstances. Yet is it SAFE to write in the "freedom" of Malaysian context? That's something serious for us to ponder upon.
For now, let's assume I'm a coward.
