Indifferent me

There was once a person who told me he could not decipher what's going on in my mind. Well, me either. 

Years of dealing with people makes me conceal my feelings well. It has become my second nature and I doubt if I were to throw it away, I would have to throw away myself too. No one has ever asked or care about what I think or feel anyway. And I've learned through hard way never reveal yourself too much. But that doesn't  mean I'm incapable of expressing emotions. But that doesn't mean I'm incapable of showing love. I simple put my words in the simplest way where there would be no extra information for manipulators to twist it. Even news are not true. So what more can you believe?

I show people bits of true me, but never the whole. If they were to fill in the holes and make up stories of me, the ones who know me would definitely know.  Covering up doesn't mean I am fake, isn't it? I never did invent a new 'identity'. I just choose not to show. And that somehow makes me equals to the word "indifferent". I am not indifferent, it's just that you are not worth enough for me to care, get it?

I doubted myself multiple times, whether it was my problem or not? But no matter how hard I try to please everybody, there's always dissatisfaction. So what? Why should I care so much about others, care about his/her likes and dislikes when they never seem to be taking care about mine? So I'd learned I better turn a deaf ear over them. I learned to care for those who care for me, love those who love me as much as I would. And it ended up people saying I'm two-faceted. Aha... just great. 

The highest form of resentment I would show one is silence. I'm lazy to the moon and if I made effort to participate in a conversation, it means you are still worth some dollars. So if you were to bad-mouth about me, fuck off. I have no time dealing with you. Just go somewhere far off and continue to back stab me. I don't really care much. But if you happened to be in my land-mine zone, be aware of action-packed scenes. And scattered pieces of broken hearts. I never showed mercy to intruders anyway.

Errmmm... how do I end this? Darn it I'm not writing an essay anyway. Bye.

Your problem, not my problem mah!

The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.

地狱里最黑暗的角落, 是那些在道德危机时保持中立的人们的最终归宿。

--Dan Brown 《INFERNO》

The worst thing one could do when forced to choose, is not to choose. You can say you have no comment, but for sure you would have preferences and biases, and of course your own views. You would have your own feelings, when it comes to certain people, things and issues. You have the right to remain silent and do nothing, but soon your conscience and guilt will haunt you. You could have care less, but then it won't benefit you, nor anybody.

Malaysia has yet experienced its fourth spring cleaning. When most Malaysians openly voiced their demands out loud; still a large proportion of them chose to remain silent. Yes, politics play dirty. That's why we want to clean them. The worst thing to do is remain in between-- half-dirty half-clean? There's no such thing. A little bit of dirt is considered dirty. When you choose not to make any decision, the decision is made, because life goes on.

The ones who remain silent are the worst human beings of all. Why? Because they're waiting for you to fight, and they're waiting to support the winner. They don't contribute anything at all, and when advantages come, they want'em all. Where are you when you are most needed? Ignoring and watching aside do not help the situation. It makes things worse. And sorry to say, you are the reason for that. 

Stupidity is not a bad thing, because one can learn to get rid of it. But ignorance is the most dangerous act one could do, because cancers grow when you ignore them. And that is why, you deserve the darkest place in hell.

Selfishness does not equal to individuality. You are just selfish. If the country's problem is not your problem, if you could not care more, then soon you would lose yourself.

选择停留在灰色地带的人们，最终将被黑暗吞没。
Those who chose to stay among the shadows, would eventually be consumed by darkness.

Is it still not your problem?

Wake up, Malaysians.