Relationship Management II

The problem is, when crisis arises, would you be able to withstand the situation?

As if awaiting an impending storm, every heartbeat seems to ache with anticipation. And fear. 

I treat every single human being as a tickling bomb: dangerous. But you know, some of them never exploded; some of them letting out small bursts sometimes; and some of them are awaiting to create chaos. Doomed.

The thing is, when you treat someone like that, you would not be able to trust and believe in them. You would not be able to confide in them, because of the fear of one day they might betray you. You keep distance with them, and you would not be able to feel warmth. You scrutinize each and every action made, and you would not be able to get closer to the person; because the more you see, the scarier a person becomes. 

Everything happens for a reason, and I do not act weird out of no reason. I knew compared to those suffering illness and hunger and poverty my problem is nothing; I knew if I were to lament about it people would see me as good-for-nothing. So I remain silent.

Silence does not end the pain. As tide comes in, waves upon waves crash on, threatening to bring destruction. I know I would bear this emotional turmoil until the day my life ends. It would lessen, but will never subside.

I suck at managing relationships.