My family in USM

TWO days to the last paper of my finals and yet to start studying. This is just so me, procrastinating whenever I can. Just finished celebrating two of my friends birthdays, and phew, it's a lot of effort planning events. Everything is worth it when you know you have created memories that could not be replaced by any other moments in her lifetime.

It turns out that I haven't showed much of my "social life" through this blog, and well I think I am fairly active showing them through Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. So well there's no need for so much redundancy, shall we? Haha, to be honest, this is the first time in my life having such a big group of sisters, for the past twenty years before I came to university, I always prefer to stick to one or two close friends. And of course we have little frictions here and there, but we turn out fitting as a family. I thank God sincerely for assigning them to show up in this time of my life and bring me so much laughter and support. They change me for a better person. I even have some of my old friends telling me I have changed to be more a spontaneous and outgoing person with much laughter, compare to who I am years ago. Geez, I accept that as compliment. With that being mentioned, I give you a quick glimpse of my family here.

Seven Fairies 七鮮女 Birthday celebration 0620 

I think I need not emphasise how blessed I am to be surrounded by people who truly care about me. Well this blog post may seem a little corny and cheesy, and a little bit of not my usual style: I wish to dedicate my heart-felt thanks to the individuals appeared in the photo above. We still have years to go to test our friendship, but till then, I think we are fated to be stuck together. 

Love ya!

Indifferent me

There was once a person who told me he could not decipher what's going on in my mind. Well, me either. 

Years of dealing with people makes me conceal my feelings well. It has become my second nature and I doubt if I were to throw it away, I would have to throw away myself too. No one has ever asked or care about what I think or feel anyway. And I've learned through hard way never reveal yourself too much. But that doesn't  mean I'm incapable of expressing emotions. But that doesn't mean I'm incapable of showing love. I simple put my words in the simplest way where there would be no extra information for manipulators to twist it. Even news are not true. So what more can you believe?

I show people bits of true me, but never the whole. If they were to fill in the holes and make up stories of me, the ones who know me would definitely know.  Covering up doesn't mean I am fake, isn't it? I never did invent a new 'identity'. I just choose not to show. And that somehow makes me equals to the word "indifferent". I am not indifferent, it's just that you are not worth enough for me to care, get it?

I doubted myself multiple times, whether it was my problem or not? But no matter how hard I try to please everybody, there's always dissatisfaction. So what? Why should I care so much about others, care about his/her likes and dislikes when they never seem to be taking care about mine? So I'd learned I better turn a deaf ear over them. I learned to care for those who care for me, love those who love me as much as I would. And it ended up people saying I'm two-faceted. Aha... just great. 

The highest form of resentment I would show one is silence. I'm lazy to the moon and if I made effort to participate in a conversation, it means you are still worth some dollars. So if you were to bad-mouth about me, fuck off. I have no time dealing with you. Just go somewhere far off and continue to back stab me. I don't really care much. But if you happened to be in my land-mine zone, be aware of action-packed scenes. And scattered pieces of broken hearts. I never showed mercy to intruders anyway.

Errmmm... how do I end this? Darn it I'm not writing an essay anyway. Bye.

My series of unfortunate events

Heyyo! Sorry for disappearing... I won't say I have been trough hard times but well... things weren't that easy either. My list of misfortunes happened since the early of March till now, and it doesn't show any signs of relenting. 

I don't remember why and how it started... but it did anyway. Now I'm broke (there goes my PTPTN loan), with my laptop dead after drowning in a cup coffee that suppose to drown me but not that poor thing, my phone soft buttons paralysed after trying to commit suicide by jumping down from my desk (oh why would she), me suffering from sleeping... you call that disorder? I kept waking up in the middle of the sleep and OMG it's frustrating! Not only that, someone burned holes in my heart and I believe...(ya i just checked), it needs intensive care. 

Well maybe it's not that unfortunate after all, because all this while I've managed to survive. Call me weirdo and whatever you like, because I am used to it. My buddy told me I'm "unbeatable", and I guess so far I've live to it. So what? Bring it on!

 Now my unfortunate event is everyone's unfortunate event--- Exam! Whatever it is, exams never drag me down. So I might as well go and celebrate... I should stop these crazy thoughts. By the way just watch "Me Before You", not much of my type, too cliche and too noble. Am not going to reveal more about the movie, go and watch if you want to! 

Good luck in your finals!