Reminisce

Sleepless night.

It's been a long time since graduation that we have a long, engaging conversation, nearly 5 hours. The details of the conversation is still ringing by my ears, so clear, so defeaning and annoyingly sweet ~ it makes me reluctant to fall asleep. 

It's very surprising- that the only friends that I am currrently keeping in touch with are the ones I have known for the shortest period of time. I did not keep in touch with my primary schoolmates, bad memories they gave me (that's a very long story); I only have 1 to 2 close friends during my secondary school days, and although I don't want to admit it, I feel like we are slowly drifting apart. The current Form 6 gang is the ONLY people who will gather together during holiday breaks. Never in my life (which is full of difficult friendships) that I would I would imagine me having the opportunity to hang out with a large group of people, yet did not feel that I am being alienated. This is the first time- and sincerely hope it will continue till we grow old.

I never thought that I am seriously enjoying the conversation: I am glad that I made the effort to get out of my lazy zone and get out of my house to meet them. The recent updates of my friends on how they are doing, and a few sprinkles of school-time memories make me feel young again. I am glad that I made the decision to study my Form 6 in Jit Sin, although I still didn't quite like the school environment. Overall, I am nothing but glad.

I have this sudden feeling of nostalgia- I am missing those days when we were in Form 6. I regretted not showing more of my true self to my friends; and suddenly realised that one and a half year is simply too short. Yet, we are still able to tune into conversation harmoniously after all these years, and a sudden wave of emotions hit me. I don't know what it is: maybe because I am touched. 

And suddenly I am afraid of losing them.